Relationships seem to be so complicated; we spend countless hours throughout our lives imagining what the perfect relationship would be like. We pick apart the downfalls of previous relationships formulating a fairy tale spouse. It seems to me that we all have one thing in common. We are all searching for the person that will make us happy and that we can make happy in return.
This is of course easier said than done. So how do we find this person? Perhaps we are looking too hard, we find ourselves fantasizing about this perfect person; the supermodel we can show off to our guy friends, or the millionaire football player that will make the other girls jealous. However, in the end will any of these things make us happy? In order to find someone to spend the rest of our lives with we must search for compatibility. It’s one thing to meet someone who makes your stomach rumble like a first kiss all over again, it’s another thing to find someone to stand next to you day in and day out. To be compatible with someone you must first be able to be yourself. I have found that there are very few people in this world who I can be my true self around. Perhaps this is because in order to be your true self you must expose your weaknesses.
It’s a beautiful thing when you can be your true self around someone all of the time. This is the essence of successful relationship. If you find someone you can be your true self around that means you have found someone that you trust, someone you can tell anything to, someone you know will be there for you when you need them most. My point here is this; while we are out there searching for the “perfect” person to fulfill our fantasy, we are merely asking for more pain as this person does not exist. Perhaps we should accept that there is no perfect person and look for compatibility rather than perfection; someone we can trust; whose shortcomings we can accept and overcome. I pray I find this person or discover they already exist in my life.
There is nothing more beautiful than holding the same persons hand 60 years later and looking in their eyes knowing you still love them as much as day one. I truly believe that finding someone who will stand next to you day after day no matter how hard the battle ahead will make you happier in the long run than the perfect person that we can only fantasize about.
Next time you are wondering who would make you happy, it may be worth considering those who don’t fit in the role you dreamed your significant other to play (financially, looks, prestige, etc…) but who can offer you the opportunity to be yourself; the only way two people can ever be compatible. The excitement of a new relationship only lasts so long, after that there must be something more to fall back on.
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