Men's Responses

MW: What is your definition of a player?
Man 1: Someone that is opposed to completely monogamous relationships and seeks to explore their sexuality with many different people, often times simply for the sport of it.

MW: What are the warning signs of a player?
M1: A good player or a bad player? You can be a player but not get much play…there's a difference between the two and they behave differently.

MW: What are some examples of both?
M1: Good ones are good with words. They'll turn the situation around so the girl is chasing him…bad players do the chasing. Bad ones always on the prowl…not talking to friends but always looking around the room for the next target. Good ones create an environment around them that make them appear fun to be around. They can tell great stories and jokes….often the same ones reused…canned material. Bad or inexperience players talk about how pretty and smart his target is….good ones will say things to make the girl feel insecure. The girl will then work to prove her value.

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MW: What is your definition of a player?
Man 2: I think a player is someone who enters into some sort of relationship understanding that the other person has a different sort of expectations and takes advantage of the situation.

MW: What are the warning signs of a player?
M2: Someone who drags their feet. And only does what they want to do in a relationship. An avoidance of couple situations especially in public. An unwillingness to be communicative. But I think if you really are out there trying to meet someone a player may be impossible to truly spot that's the difficult things about relationships. You have to trust someone who may not have earned it at first.

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MW: What are the warning signs of a player?
Man 3: Some of this is counter intuitive but here are some things to consider for sure:

• He falls hard fast
• Asks too many questions about what you want
• Too many friends of the opposite sex
• He starts talking sex right away
• This is simple, but you always catch him lying
• Gets jealous too soon

MW: Why would a player care enough to be jealous?
M3: It's not about love or caring, it's a control thing.

MW: Who wants to be in control of their one night stand? Which is what players have a lot of…
M3: See I think that's not always true. I think they also go back to the same girl many times and it's about them not caring about hurting someone when they're done. I have friends that have multiple girls going and they don't give a shit, but they aren't running one night stands. They like to have multiple choices available to them at all times.

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MW: How do you spot a player?
Man 4: A player tends to shower once a day

Women's Responses:

MW: What are the warning signs of a player?

Woman 1: They are constantly deleting old text messages, they take better care of their shoes than you do, they don't take you out, they just want to hang out at your house, and they never invite you to hang with their friends.

Woman 2: Cocky smirk? Really forward and smooth — flirting? Dresses better than you?

Woman 3: Gold teeth? Jk i guess the super charming guys are always playa playas.

The 'Doctor Mentality' man is a breed of men you can learn from. This is the kind of guy that will date you to a certain point, then doesn't physically have time for commitment in his life and might think that his job is everything. In other words, this guy has a one track mind – and it isn't you.

Prevalent signs of the 'Dr. Mentality'

• Busy/Constantly on the go
• Has a bucket list that does not include you
• Closed off emotions
• Thinks love is governed by a set of rules
• Not a true romantic
• Egotistical
• Is in medical school
• People pleaser
• Emotionally immature
• Treats girlfriend like a “good-for-now” girl

Some guys can and will grow out of the Dr. Mentality and become great lovers. Also, some women enjoy being with Dr. Mentality because then they can always have their emotional space and keep their life separated. This is also known as “marrying for money” or “giving up on love”.

Please write in your experiences if you've ever dated a guy with Dr. Mentality!!

The men that drive us CRAZY… Here are some obvious signs that your man is TOXIC:

1. You sleep with a guy too quickly. If the guy is toxic you are doomed to hours of stressing. There's a low risk factor if you let loose with a dork in a ninja suit. But beware if the guy is in your league or above – or you at least think that he is.

2. When you spend an excessive amount of time with the guy. Seeing someone on a regular basis only increases your feelings for them, even if you were never that into them in the first place.

3. SPACE. A toxic guy knows to give you your space, and may even intentionally give you too much space for your comfort. This means he's unavailable a lot of the time and tends to only make the late night booty call. Booty calls can be great, but NOT when your man is toxic.

4. Rejection. When a guy rejects you and he is toxic it only makes you want him more. This can turn into an emotionally dangerous situation where you will do anything to keep his attention. Honestly, you never had his attention.

5. You think the connection is strong and chemistry is great. On the girl's side she is thinking she has this amazing guy and will not be able to find such a connection with anyone else. A toxic guy can make you think that you click, when it doesn't mean a THING to him.

6. Out of sight out of mind. Your toxic will treat you as if he doesn't care if you are there or not. He will not really want to see you, simply wants to see you under circumstances when you throw yourself at him or he's horny. Toxic will tell you things that make you think he is so into you but once you're out of sight these promises will not come true. Your toxic constantly let's you down.

The player to keep an eye out for is the insidious lesser known version. He's the one that no one ever talks about. He's the guy who broke your best friend's heart last week when she found out he was married with a kid on the way. This is the guy you need to spend some time trying to find, because if he finds you unaware and unprepared you may find yourself licking your wounds for months to come.

Ultimately, this is the guy who is willing to take more than he is willing to give – and what he gives costs a lot less than what he's willing to take. This player may have some of the same attributes as the conventional player, but his game is different. His game is all about him and you're only there to make him feel better about himself.

So, what should you be looking for so you don't get snared by this player? When you start dating does he immediately start having trouble giving you space, do bouts of jealousy start appearing for no apparent reason, and do you feel from time to time that you need to file a missing persons report to find him? If the answer is yes, then be aware. As soon as you start falling for this guy, he's working on his exit strategy. Unfortunately for you he's not worried about whether or not you're going to get hurt.

-by OMAR, Our Denver Based Male Guest Writer