Man Whisperers

This type of toxic relationship starts off as a whirlwind. You meet, date a few times, and the next thing you know you just can’t get enough. Late night talks, sex, and constantly hanging out together. Then the most unfathomable thing happens, you start to constantly fight over ever little thing possible. You question yourself and ask what you did to deserve this treatment. The fights turn ridiculous and you break up only to make up. Everyone knows just how fabulous make up sex is!! Once you break up it only lasts a moment until you realize you can’t live without the person.

Breaking up and making up is the premise of this type of toxic relationship. Even though you’re a strong person you can’t seem to break the spell. And for some reason you can’t grasp the idea that there is someone out there far more suitable for you and your needs.

The cause of these on and off relationships tends to be a number of any of the following factors:

• Immaturity
• Timing
• Incompatibility
• Losing yourself
• Imbalance
• Uncertainty

Sometimes no matter how hard it is you have to face the fact that it is nearly impossible to get along with someone, even if you have great sexual chemistry. However, in a healthy relationship you have to accept the good and the bad. If you’re not willing to accept it all there will be a lot of clashing. Also, these on and off relationships have many red flags to watch for like not looking at the obvious signs of incompatibility or different values. Uncertainty plays a key role in breaking up and getting back together. It’s hard. You really love and care for someone but you don’t know if it’s right. You’ll break up but then miss them so much you want them back. It’s selfish but simply a human instinct.

Most people at some point in their lives have had this toxic relationship. And in the end when you leave it behind and find happiness on your own you can finally smile without a doubt in your mind.

No Comments | In: Toxic Relationships, dating | tags: dating, immaturity, love, red flags, relationships, sex, toxic, whirlwind. | #

Relationships seem to be so complicated; we spend countless hours throughout our lives imagining what the perfect relationship would be like. We pick apart the downfalls of previous relationships formulating a fairy tale spouse. It seems to me that we all have one thing in common. We are all searching for the person that will make us happy and that we can make happy in return.

This is of course easier said than done. So how do we find this person? Perhaps we are looking too hard, we find ourselves fantasizing about this perfect person; the supermodel we can show off to our guy friends, or the millionaire football player that will make the other girls jealous. However, in the end will any of these things make us happy? In order to find someone to spend the rest of our lives with we must search for compatibility. It’s one thing to meet someone who makes your stomach rumble like a first kiss all over again, it’s another thing to find someone to stand next to you day in and day out. To be compatible with someone you must first be able to be yourself. I have found that there are very few people in this world who I can be my true self around. Perhaps this is because in order to be your true self you must expose your weaknesses.

It’s a beautiful thing when you can be your true self around someone all of the time. This is the essence of successful relationship. If you find someone you can be your true self around that means you have found someone that you trust, someone you can tell anything to, someone you know will be there for you when you need them most. My point here is this; while we are out there searching for the “perfect” person to fulfill our fantasy, we are merely asking for more pain as this person does not exist. Perhaps we should accept that there is no perfect person and look for compatibility rather than perfection; someone we can trust; whose shortcomings we can accept and overcome. I pray I find this person or discover they already exist in my life. There is nothing more beautiful than holding the same persons hand 60 years later and looking in their eyes knowing you still love them as much as day 1. I truly believe that finding someone who will stand next to you day after day no matter how hard the battle ahead will make you happier in the long run than the perfect person that we can only fantasize about.

Next time you are wondering who would make you happy, it may be worth considering those who don’t fit in the role you dreamed your significant other to play (financially, looks, prestige, etc…) but who can offer you the opportunity to be yourself; the only way two people can ever be compatible. The excitement of a new relationship only lasts so long, after that there must be something more to fall back on.

No Comments | In: Best of MW, dating, love | | #

The 'Doctor Mentality' man is a breed of men you can learn from. This is the kind of guy that will date you to a certain point, then doesn't physically have time for commitment in his life and might think that his job is everything. In other words, this guy has a one track mind – and it isn't you.

Prevalent signs of the 'Dr. Mentality'

• Busy/Constantly on the go
• Has a bucket list that does not include you
• Closed off emotions
• Thinks love is governed by a set of rules
• Not a true romantic
• Egotistical
• Is in medical school
• People pleaser
• Emotionally immature
• Treats girlfriend like a “good-for-now” girl

Some guys can and will grow out of the Dr. Mentality and become great lovers. Also, some women enjoy being with Dr. Mentality because then they can always have their emotional space and keep their life separated. This is also known as “marrying for money” or “giving up on love”.

Please write in your experiences if you've ever dated a guy with Dr. Mentality!!

No Comments | In: Best of MW, assholes, dating, players | | #

The conventional tell tale signs of the player are well known. He's the one with great game. The one with the legendary one night stands. He's got a nice car, nice clothes, great smile – maybe even a nice house – and he has his friends around all of the time so that he can show his skills to his boys. Although this guy is a player, it's not him that causes damage and breaks hearts, because at the end of the day if this guy plays you, it's because you wanted to get played. And let's face it, we all want to be played at some point in our lives.

The player to keep an eye out for is the insidious lesser known version. He's the one that no one ever talks about. He's the guy who broke your best friend's heart last week when she found out he was married with a kid on the way. This is the guy you need to spend some time trying to find, because if he finds you unaware and unprepared you may find yourself licking your wounds for months to come.

Ultimately, this is the guy who is willing to take more than he is willing to give – and what he gives costs a lot less than what he's willing to take. This player may have some of the same attributes as the conventional player, but his game is different. His game is all about him and you're only there to make him feel better about himself.

So, what should you be looking for so you don't get snared by this player? When you start dating does he immediately start having trouble giving you space, do bouts of jealousy start appearing for no apparent reason, and do you feel from time to time that you need to file a missing persons report to find him? If the answer is yes, then be aware. As soon as you start falling for this guy, he's working on his exit strategy. Unfortunately for you he's not worried about whether or not you're going to get hurt.

-by OMAR, Our Denver Based Male Guest Writer

No Comments | In: Best of MW, Games Guys Play, That's What He Said, assholes, dating, dumb girls, players, toxic | | #