If only it was this simple. In the battle of the sexes, the scales tip back and forth. Tipping the scales in favor of the feminine way is the phenomenon I affectionately call “The Circle of Death”. A group of girls with an unbreakable code of “I just want to dance with my girls tonight” form an impenetrable wall of estrogen like they were 2nd graders playing a game of Red Rover. Many men go in, all subsequently get thrown the fuck out.

Ladies, start the night out with too much wine, grab your place on the dance floor, and dance your heart out with utter disdain for every man within a 70 mile radius. Gentlemen, though it looks like a sure thing (lots of drunk girls dancing together, what could be easier?) I assure you, the circle is not meant for you and I.

Not that they aren’t aware of this because this is the time for them to show off all the moves they’ve been learning in stripper pole cardio. The circle is meant to teach men a lesson, and it’s one that we won’t learn anytime soon. Sure, there are times when you are able to get in a good 10-15 seconds of grinding on a girl’s ass before she even notices your half erection in the “no-fly zone” but when the testis-detector finally goes off, the road crew will be there quickly to make sure you move on and shove off.

-Male Guest Blogger

This is of course easier said than done. So how do we find this person? Perhaps we are looking too hard, we find ourselves fantasizing about this perfect person; the supermodel we can show off to our guy friends, or the millionaire football player that will make the other girls jealous. However, in the end will any of these things make us happy? In order to find someone to spend the rest of our lives with we must search for compatibility. It’s one thing to meet someone who makes your stomach rumble like a first kiss all over again, it’s another thing to find someone to stand next to you day in and day out. To be compatible with someone you must first be able to be yourself. I have found that there are very few people in this world who I can be my true self around. Perhaps this is because in order to be your true self you must expose your weaknesses.

It’s a beautiful thing when you can be your true self around someone all of the time. This is the essence of successful relationship. If you find someone you can be your true self around that means you have found someone that you trust, someone you can tell anything to, someone you know will be there for you when you need them most. My point here is this; while we are out there searching for the “perfect” person to fulfill our fantasy, we are merely asking for more pain as this person does not exist. Perhaps we should accept that there is no perfect person and look for compatibility rather than perfection; someone we can trust; whose shortcomings we can accept and overcome. I pray I find this person or discover they already exist in my life.

There is nothing more beautiful than holding the same persons hand 60 years later and looking in their eyes knowing you still love them as much as day one. I truly believe that finding someone who will stand next to you day after day no matter how hard the battle ahead will make you happier in the long run than the perfect person that we can only fantasize about.

Next time you are wondering who would make you happy, it may be worth considering those who don’t fit in the role you dreamed your significant other to play (financially, looks, prestige, etc…) but who can offer you the opportunity to be yourself; the only way two people can ever be compatible. The excitement of a new relationship only lasts so long, after that there must be something more to fall back on.

Girls, c’mon, you know he’s an asshole. He doesn’t call, he breaks dates (when he actually makes them), his boys come first and he lets you know it. You complain about him to your girlfriends all the time. Hell, you might even fight about it with him, but you keep coming back for more. Of course you like this guy, he’s dangerous, edgy, and shady, all those words that your parents told you to stay away from. Let me fill you in on something, we know that’s what you are looking for…some way to piss off daddy. Hey, maybe you can change him, but how are you going to do that when you reward him with the delicates for treating you like a doormat. Men are dogs, take it from Pavlov, withhold the meat, and give him the bells and whistles.

You think you can counteract it by acting like an asshole yourself. You stop giving him attention; you act like you don’t care about what he does. How does the asshole counter this? He makes sure you see him with another girl, then all that goes out the door, cause now some 76 pound ugly bitch is stepping on your territory even though you were ready to let it go to the rebels. Next thing you know you’re staring at the ceiling of some apartment with your ankles around your ears. Maybe you will get some breakfast in the morning but more than likely you’ll get a great walk of shame and another story to complain to your girlfriends about. In the end the asshole is cool and collected, he never worries, and he says things just off color enough to make your mouth open wide. At that point the hook is set, and you are his catch!

-Male Guest Blogger

Men’s Responses

MW: What is your definition of a player?
Man 1: Someone that is opposed to completely monogamous relationships and seeks to explore their sexuality with many different people, often times simply for the sport of it.

MW: What are the warning signs of a player?
M1: A good player or a bad player? You can be a player but not get much play…there’s a difference between the two and they behave differently.

MW: What are some examples of both?
M1: Good ones are good with words. They’ll turn the situation around so the girl is chasing him…bad players do the chasing. Bad ones always on the prowl…not talking to friends but always looking around the room for the next target. Good ones create an environment around them that make them appear fun to be around. They can tell great stories and jokes….often the same ones reused…canned material. Bad or inexperience players talk about how pretty and smart his target is….good ones will say things to make the girl feel insecure. The girl will then work to prove her value.

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MW: What is your definition of a player?
Man 2: I think a player is someone who enters into some sort of relationship understanding that the other person has a different sort of expectations and takes advantage of the situation.

MW: What are the warning signs of a player?
M2: Someone who drags their feet. And only does what they want to do in a relationship. An avoidance of couple situations especially in public. An unwillingness to be communicative. But I think if you really are out there trying to meet someone a player may be impossible to truly spot that’s the difficult things about relationships. You have to trust someone who may not have earned it at first.

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MW: What are the warning signs of a player?
Man 3: Some of this is counter intuitive but here are some things to consider for sure:

• He falls hard fast
• Asks too many questions about what you want
• Too many friends of the opposite sex
• He starts talking sex right away
• This is simple, but you always catch him lying
• Gets jealous too soon

MW: Why would a player care enough to be jealous?
M3: It’s not about love or caring, it’s a control thing.

MW: Who wants to be in control of their one night stand? Which is what players have a lot of…
M3: See I think that’s not always true. I think they also go back to the same girl many times and it’s about them not caring about hurting someone when they’re done. I have friends that have multiple girls going and they don’t give a shit, but they aren’t running one night stands. They like to have multiple choices available to them at all times.

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MW: How do you spot a player?
Man 4: A player tends to shower once a day

Women’s Responses:

MW: What are the warning signs of a player?

Woman 1: They are constantly deleting old text messages, they take better care of their shoes than you do, they don’t take you out, they just want to hang out at your house, and they never invite you to hang with their friends.

Woman 2: Cocky smirk? Really forward and smooth — flirting? Dresses better than you?

Woman 3: Gold teeth? Jk i guess the super charming guys are always playa playas.

Initially, when I started hanging out with my FWB’s I thought it was justified to hook up with him. I never wanted to fall for him and thought it’d be impossible. I didn’t even like him that much. But how can it be justified to give yourself to some guy that you don’t even like all in the name of a little booty?

Soon, instant pleasure no longer did the trick. It was only a matter of time before I needed something more and I tried to get it from him. There comes a point in this toxic relationship that you no longer have your pride intact. The FWB’s can have some long term detrimental effects on your self esteem. All in all you’re only making it easier for the guy. And everyone knows that guys are simply animalistic and like a little chase, so make them work for what they’re getting!

Prevalent signs of the 'Dr. Mentality'

• Busy/Constantly on the go
• Has a bucket list that does not include you
• Closed off emotions
• Thinks love is governed by a set of rules
• Not a true romantic
• Egotistical
• Is in medical school
• People pleaser
• Emotionally immature
• Treats girlfriend like a “good-for-now” girl

Some guys can and will grow out of the Dr. Mentality and become great lovers. Also, some women enjoy being with Dr. Mentality because then they can always have their emotional space and keep their life separated. This is also known as “marrying for money” or “giving up on love”.

The men that drive us CRAZY… Here are some obvious signs that your man is TOXIC:

1. You sleep with a guy too quickly. If the guy is toxic you are doomed to hours of stressing. There’s a low risk factor if you let loose with a dork in a ninja suit. But beware if the guy is in your league or above – or you at least think that he is.

2. When you spend an excessive amount of time with the guy. Seeing someone on a regular basis only increases your feelings for them, even if you were never that into them in the first place.

3. SPACE. A toxic guy knows to give you your space, and may even intentionally give you too much space for your comfort. This means he’s unavailable a lot of the time and tends to only make the late night booty call. Booty calls can be great, but NOT when your man is toxic.

4. Rejection. When a guy rejects you and he is toxic it only makes you want him more. This can turn into an emotionally dangerous situation where you will do anything to keep his attention. Honestly, you never had his attention.

5. You think the connection is strong and chemistry is great. On the girl’s side she is thinking she has this amazing guy and will not be able to find such a connection with anyone else. A toxic guy can make you think that you click, when it doesn’t mean a THING to him.

6. Out of sight out of mind. Your toxic will treat you as if he doesn’t care if you are there or not. He will not really want to see you, simply wants to see you under circumstances when you throw yourself at him or he’s horny. Toxic will tell you things that make you think he is so into you but once you’re out of sight these promises will not come true. Your toxic constantly let’s you down.

Dating fundamentals:
   • Once a cheater, always a cheater
   • Eatin ain’t cheatin
   • Guys are sexually motivated
   • Advice to girls: assert yourself and you will get laid.
   • Warning sign: If a man says they’ll “try” not to do something, they’re probably doing it already. There is NO try in being faithful. For example, “I’ll try not to cheat on you.”

4 Types of girls in a married man’s life
   • Wifey – The wife. She’s everything a man wants, she looks good and is nice.
   • Baby girl – Girlfriend being groomed to be wifey, won’t become wifey unless the wifey screws up. Loves to party and is very fun.
  • Side piece or side hide – once a month, all side hides know each other
  • Jump off – Will hit on you when you’re with your wife, former side piece

Two Types of Guys:
   • Boring: like crunching peanut shells
   • Fun, crazy, entertaining

The player to keep an eye out for is the insidious lesser known version. He's the one that no one ever talks about. He's the guy who broke your best friend's heart last week when she found out he was married with a kid on the way. This is the guy you need to spend some time trying to find, because if he finds you unaware and unprepared you may find yourself licking your wounds for months to come.

Ultimately, this is the guy who is willing to take more than he is willing to give – and what he gives costs a lot less than what he's willing to take. This player may have some of the same attributes as the conventional player, but his game is different. His game is all about him and you're only there to make him feel better about himself.

So, what should you be looking for so you don't get snared by this player? When you start dating does he immediately start having trouble giving you space, do bouts of jealousy start appearing for no apparent reason, and do you feel from time to time that you need to file a missing persons report to find him? If the answer is yes, then be aware. As soon as you start falling for this guy, he's working on his exit strategy. Unfortunately for you he's not worried about whether or not you're going to get hurt.

-by OMAR, Our Denver Based Male Guest Writer